


Take Me To The Rooftop

by VioletNight_9



Series: Sanders Sides Oneshots (VioletNight) [6]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Again, Angst, Comfort, Crying, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, Im Projecting, Kissing, M/M, Suicidal Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Suicidal Thoughts, comfort cuddles, there's royality for like two sentences, these tags are so out of order, title from a billie eilish song when this isnt even a songfic, tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:40:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25918237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletNight_9/pseuds/VioletNight_9
Summary: "What on Earth are you doing?""Nothing, just uh, livin' life on the edge, I guess?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides Oneshots (VioletNight) [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1865167
Comments: 5
Kudos: 128





	Take Me To The Rooftop

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Crying, Suicidal Implications, Heights, Loss Of Body Control (Shock?)
> 
> Take care of yourself please <3 Love you kiddos

Virgil sat on the roof of his apartment building. To a bystander it might look scary. Like he was about to do something _bad_. He laughed under his breath. _As if he could ever have the guts_. Virgil was tired, plain and simple. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to cry. But of course his alone time was ruined.

"What on Earth are you doing?" Logan asked behind Virgil, making him jump slightly backwards, almost falling back onto the rooftop from his ledge. Virgil took a second to breath, not bothering to turn back.

"Nothing, just uh, livin' on the edge I guess?" Virgil laughed awkwardly, trying to fill the deafening silence. After being met with no response Virgil sighed and leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees.

"If you think I'm going to jump, 'm not," He hummed, staring down at the city below. Virgil couldn't see Logan but he could hear him moving closer until the soft shuffling of jeans against the concrete next to him was all too close.

"Virgil can you please get off the ledge?" Logan asked, putting a hand on his arm. Virgil flinched slightly away from the touch before accepting it. He thought for a moment.

"No." Logan frowned, standing on his left leg with his right balancing him on the ledge.

"Why not?"

"Because I..." Virgil didn't know why. He had spent so many hours of his life on this roof, not knowing why. Tears started to fall down his cheeks, first a steady one-two but quickly it became a river. "I don't know, Logan." He refused to look over at the man that was most definitely giving him a face full of pity that he didn't want, nor deserve.

"Virgil please get off the ledge," Logan seemed to beg. Virgil was surprised. Begging was _not_ a thing you would see from Logan. Virgil's mind drew blank for a while. Everything blurred, his ears were full of cotton, his head was static. The next thing Virgil knew he was sitting against the wall, holding one of Logan's hands as he treated his fingers through his hair.

Only then did he realize Logan was crying. Not quite sobbing, no. Just a few tears here and there, a slight irregularity in his breathing. Still, Virgil couldn't help but feel bad. He caused this right? It was his fault for going on the roof in the first place, now his boyfriend was holding onto him and crying after begging him to get off the ledge. Honestly Virgil wasn't planning anything, he did this pretty often, _so why was today different?_

Was he up for longer than usual? Time seemed to pass slowly watching the sunset. His vision came into focus for a second to realize it was dark. Sadly, there weren't any stars, even this high up; too much light pollution.

"Oh," Virgil muttered, still not quite there. He felt the rumble of Logan talking to him but couldn't make out the words. "Lo?" Virgil asked, unable to move. He wanted to look at him. "Lo, I can't turn my head."

Logan shifted from behind him, briefly letting go of Virgil's hand to move in front of him; he never took his hand off though. Virgil smiled slightly- at least as much of a smile he could muster- while looking into Logan's eyes. His dark blues were darker than ever, probably a mix of the night and his teary eyes.

Virgil reached out to touch his face but couldn't find the strength to lift his hand. Logan got the message and took one of Virgil's hands and brought it to his face, kissing the palm softly while rubbing the back of his palm. Virgil visibly calmed and leaned against the touch, letting his tears cascade quickly down his face.

"I'm sorry," He choked out, starting to move his hand to hold Logan's against his cheek. Sobs started to shake his body as he looked down and seemingly tried to disappear through the bricks of the building.

"Oh no, no, no, it's okay Starlight. It's okay," Logan pushed the hand that was on his cheek to Virgil's, carefully letting go of Virgil's hand in order to caress his face. "Oh Starlight, it's okay. I'm not mad."

Virgil slowly looked up and leaned forward into Logan's chest. Logan quickly wrapped his arms around Virgil and started playing with his hair. Virgil clutched onto his shirt, shaking in his arms.

"Let it out Starlight, it's okay, it's okay," Logan sounded more like he was trying to convince himself more than Virgil, but it still managed to relax him. Virgil carefully pulled away and looked up at Logan, his arms still wrapped around his neck. Slowly he went in for a kiss.

It wasn't anything dirty or rushed. In fact it was smooth and careful, slow and sweet. They felt like if they made the tiniest mistake- added just a little too much pressure- the other would break. Their tears mingled at the cracks of their lips, the salty taste invading the kiss but neither of them paying any mind to it. Virgil didn't want to stop kissing. It was a break from his thoughts- a light that broke through the dark fog. Neither of them wanted to make it anything more than what it was. Neither of them wanted to stop. But sadly, they had to separate, at least until they got into their shared apartment.

Logan managed to get Virgil to stand up and walk beside him, attached at the hip with his arms wrapped around one of Logan's. When they finally got to their apartment Virgil saw Roman laying on Patton's chest on the couch, only catching his eye for a moment before Logan tugged him into their bedroom.

It was quiet. Then everything moved quicker than Virgil could process at the moment. One second he was standing on the floor and the next he was sitting in Logan's lap on the bed. Logan had his head tucked into Virgil's neck, trying to even out his breathing. Virgil was holding onto Logan's hands- Logan had his arms wrapped around him.

"Don't do that to me again," Logan said into his neck, "Please don't. I don't think I can take it." Virgil was stunned by Logan's quiet crying. Logan didn't cry- at least not in front of others. Virgil started to kneel up to turn around but Logan just tightened his grip on Virgil's waist.

"Lo, I..." Virgil had to choose his next words carefully. Of course he was going to go back to the roof, it was his safe space. But he didn't want to worry Logan. He was walking on eggshells and didn't want to mess up one more thing tonight.

"I can't say I won't go back up Lo," Logan tightened his grip again, only lightening up when Virgil patted his arms and turned around in his lap. "But I can tell you that I'll _never_ fall from there. I promise you that. I'd never do that to you, to Pat, to Ro, to anyone." Virgil nuzzled into Logan's neck.

Logan paused. He didn't know what was going on in his own head. He couldn't string together a thought. So instead he just held onto Virgil while both of them cried. Eventually the two calmed down, Virgil laying on top of Logan with his head in Logan's neck, occasionally hiccuping. Logan rubbed his back slowly, his eyes closed, a few leftover tears slipping from time to time.

"Virgil?" Logan asked, "I love you, you know that right?" Virgil smiled a bit and nuzzled closer into Logan's neck.

"Yes, I know, book nerd. I love you too." Virgil placed a small kiss on Logan's neck and closed his eyes, sinking into the affection Logan was offering him.

He loved him. And that's why he'd never go farther than sitting on the roof.


End file.
